Conflict
Conflict in life is inevitable. In fact, conflict can be good, as it will create opportunity for change. Most of the time conflict has a negative connotation since someone often gets hurt in conflict. Even though I’m no expert in either creating or resolving conflict, I’m going to try to comment in a way that makes some sense of the topic.
Conflict most often arises out of two parties differing in their perception of facts. Fidel Castro, for example, may have seen the disparity of wealth and poverty of Cuba and said to himself, “I can make this better”. Karl Marx may have set the stage for Castro’s takeover of Cuba because of his determination that capitalists were oppressing the labor force—the proletariat. Typical causes of conflict may stem from real or perceived inequalities where one party feels exploited and the other party feels entitled.
Self-interest is another motivator in conflict. If one of the parties believes they are entitled to another’s property, either because of history, finance or geography, conflict as to rights arises. This attitude is particularly prevalent in the Middle East. Israel believes it has the right to defend itself (reasonable enough). Palestinians believe that they have the right to their homeland (also reasonable). That conflict comes out of a deep-seated history of distrust and insecurity. Wouldn’t it be nice if the participants in that conflict would allow their children to be raised by neutral third parties without the prejudice of the past being inculcated into their little minds. They could then be reintroduced into they land as adults without pre-conceived notions of hatred. Of course that will never happen.
Financial conflict is a subset of self-interest. Once someone has wealth accumulated, it is natural for others to want the same standard of living. Those on the outside of that equation envy those on the inside. They want the benefit without the disciplined work that was required to create the wealth in the first place. What I’ve noticed about inherited or unanticipated (lottery) wealth is that many times the recipient does not have the knowledge and understanding to protect and utilize that wealth effectively. That is one reason lottery winners often blast through their winnings incredibly fast.
Sometimes truth-seeking causes conflict. A classic example would be Galileo making discoveries that threatened the contemporary establishment’s understanding of the universe. Their reaction was to condemn his discoveries as heresy (which it was). But, his discoveries were found to be the truth. Religion tries to help us understand our creation and give us guidelines by which to live. Like science, it is limited to its own realm of understanding. The rules of engagement for religion and science are to take a position and defend it. However, Islam and Christianity are in direct conflict. The resolution of that conflict, unfortunately, is sometimes fought with more than words.
When a person or group is passionate for a cause, conflict is common. Whatever the subject of that passion, there is usually another perspective. For example, someone who advocates for nuclear power as the solution to our energy needs is countered by the argument that nuclear power is dirty. Often the facts get in the way of such arguments and the conflict becomes purely emotional. Name-calling is a common method of discrediting an opponent. This has recently been the case with the debate on health care delivery systems. The labeling of a plan has the effect of either promoting or challenging it. Thus, those who oppose the legislation variously call it Obamacare, socialized medicine or the government takeover of our bodies. Those who promoted its passage labeled those who opposed it uncaring and insensitive to the needs of the poor or wanting to encourage greedy insurance companies.
Groupthink can lead to class conflict. I’m a member of a certain demographic that believes that I have been discriminated against. Therefore, I have the right to retribution. In fact, everyone in my group has the same right. The group that discriminated against me owes me some of their property along with the promise that they will cease future discrimination. The class warfare can be overt or covert. If one group only does business with its own kind, that perpetuates the conflict. At various times—nay probably even today—Irish, Jewish, Italian, Black, Catholic, Native Americans, Chinese, Japanese, Hispanic and yes, even White feel cultural unfairness. Rich are pitted against the poor. Old are pitted against the young. Male is pitted against female. Gay is pitted against straight. Haves are pitted against have-nots. Nuclear nations are pitted against non-nuclear. Communists are pitted against Capitalists.
Inequality leads to conflict. What is a fair exchange when you have money and I have labor? Or you want to exploit mineral rights you have purchased at the expense of the environment? Or you want to buy oil to fuel your car instead of walking? Or you lack a job while your neighbor works. Or your union says you’re underpaid and overworked? How to resolve these problems usually leads to conflict.
The media portrays conflict to sell air and print time. After all, it is conflict that titillates our emotions. We get our hackles up and proclaim unfairness. It doesn’t matter which side we’re on. We tend to want to vent. So the media fuels the flames of our position. Have you ever noticed that you select media that most closely reflects what you believe? That perpetuates the conflict with the “other side”. If we didn’t pay attention to media, would conflict exist? I suspect it would, but not as polarized as we currently experience. Try to listen to another station occasionally. The perspective you gain may help to advance a better society by understanding the root cause of conflict and creatively working through it.
A person’s personality helps determine whether conflict is enjoyable or uncomfortable. There are those who are aggressive and will fight to the finish just for the fun of it. Sometimes these people are so into the process that they totally ignore the facts. I know one person who will make up stories just to continue the conflict. If a settlement is agreed upon, this person isn’t satisfied, as that ends the excitement. If a settlement is reached, he somehow thinks he could have gotten more. Even if he signs a release, he looks for a flaw in the language to continue his enjoyment of the conflict and promote his self-interest. It’s a sick way to live, but these people do exist.
Other people are so weak in approaching conflict that they will capitulate at the first sign of a fight. They won’t stand up for their principles. They will avoid the fight at all costs. Such people are taken advantage of. Their position is laughed at. Their rights are trampled. Their property is confiscated. For such people, life must have little meaning. They can travel through the journey just surviving, but not making a difference. No legacy of good work or good will. No sense of accomplishment. This, too, is a sad way to live.
Conflict resolution services exist to protect the weak and to find a balance between truth and fiction. A skilled mediator will ask questions in an impartial fashion and be able to point out the fallacy of false arguments. Marriage counselors have the same role. They take two points of view and help the parties understand each other. They encourage weakness for the aggressor and backbone for the passive partner. Their task is never-ending for those who haven’t reached a balance between standing up for what is right and being willing to capitulate over unimportant issues.
Arbitration is a manner of settling disputes through a third party decision maker. Each side brings their point of view to the table, agreeing in advance to let the arbitrator decide. When the conflict has to do with a legal matter, the arbitrator will apply the principles of law to the conflict and attempt a resolution based on precedence. Where each side has representation, the professional puts forward the best case possible and a third party decides between the two alternatives. That is where there are usually winners and losers. Unfortunately, in many cases, it is the best liar who prevails, not necessarily the truth.
My premise at the outset was that sometimes conflict is good. Where life is made unbearable because of abuse, confronting that abuse is healthy. Where someone stands in the way of progress because of a misguided racial, religious or political bias, challenging that bias is good. When someone comes up with a better way to do something and meets with resistance because it’s never been done that way, demanding a try is worthy of the effort. That is how progress is made. That is how the world becomes a better place. That is how to avoid societal stagnation. But when it is done solely for self-interest, I’d recommend avoiding that approach.
©Frank Bliss 2010 All rights reserved
July, 2010
